The Best Offense

It takes quite a bit of effort for someone to make me take offense.

Taking Offense
When someone gives me feedback, I find being defensive is one of the least productive reactions, yet it seems very common. I use a three-prong approach for determining how I will react when someone comments/provides feedback/attacks/insults, etc.:

1. I try to determine the person’s motive. Is it constructive, helpful, loving, or is it retaliation, bitterness or hateful.
2. How much of the feedback rings true for me?
3. Is the person someone I trust, or someone who’s feedback is usually valid?

Once I’ve decided these three things, the reaction is almost always simple. I can adjust my behavior as I see necessary, and take responsibility for my part and ignore the remainder. I can also try and correct any misperceptions.

But getting defensive? That only serves to give the commenter more credence, even when their comments may not be true.

Current Knitting
I mentioned I had finished the collar and started on the first sleeve on the Wool/Hemp pullover.

Wool Hemp Pullover 07-02-05

Since the sleeve is a fitted sleeve, and I’m knitting it from the top down (circularly), I did the sleeve cap using short rows and now I’ve started the decreases at standard intervals (right now every fourth round).

Readers’ Comments/Questions
First of all, I wanted to thank Barb B. for her comment about Gay 101. Giving folks a small sense about how I see growing up gay was exactly what I was hoping for.

Michelene asks, “Joe, do you think that the media and even the church have skewed the reports of priests who are sexual abusers to spin it into a “homosexual” problem?”

I do think both organizations have tried, but not very successfully to focus the anger of priest child abuse on the gay community. Mostly, I think sane folks realize that the priests and the churches that participate in, or cover up pedophilia and pederasty are the issue. Not the sexuality of the priests.

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