Inconsiderate Web Searchers

I know a lot of other bloggers get this kind of thing, but I thought I should be clear on exactly how NOT to communicate with someone who writes a blog.

Blog Requests
I get a lot of requests for patterns from random e-mailers, thinking that since I knit a lot, I might know where to point them. Even if I don’t know, I will often do a brief search to see if I can help. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t.

I had this volley of e-mails in the last few days:

From Sharon (who I don’t even know if she reads my blog)

Hi, I have been looking for a pattern to knit the fuzzy dice for my brother. He restored his truck and wants the dice. Do you know where I can get the pattern. I also want the pattern where you knit the numbers right in the dice. I don’t want to pit pom pom’s on them.

Can you help me. I have looked all over the internet and everwhere else.

Thank you,

Not such a bad request, although dice don’t have numbers, they have “pips” or dots. Kim Salazar mentioned a free pattern for these dice by Berocco a while ago, so I tried to find it, but it’s no longer available.

I reply

The only free pattern I knew about is gone now.

Good luck in your search.


Sharon persists

Hi Joe, I would pay for the pattern. I just need to
find one.


In my first search, I briefly remembered seeing a book with a pattern for these in it, so I do another search and find Debbie Stoller’s Stitch ‘n Bitch Nation seems to have a pattern.

I reply

“Stitch ‘n Bitch Nation” by Debbie Stoller has a pattern (from what I understand). I’m not sure if it’s knit or crochet or what you’re looking for, and I’ve never knit fuzzy dice myself, so I don’t have any patterns myself.


All-in-all, it’s not so annoying. I figured she could have just as easily found this resource, but maybe not, and I’m glad to help….


From Sharon again

Thank you Joe. Where can I get the book?

I’ll let readers suggest possible responses. I’m not planning on responding, as she’s now either just being lazy, or purposefully being an asshole. But I’ve thought of a few choice fantasy responses. I thought you all might enjoy the same opportunity.

Current Knitting
I’ve done a little more work on the new baby blanket, and I keep looking at the Faux Rib pullover to see if I’m inspired to start sewing it up.

I’m not.

Current Spinning
I plied up the two bobbins full of singles on the white Romney-like yarn, and now I have a total of eight big hanks of thick, lofty yarn.

I actually thought I was making a dent in the big bag ‘o yarn, so I spun up another bobbin-full of singles.

I’ve also been making MUCH slower progress on the Chasing Rainbows Tussah/Cashmere spinning. It takes me a lot longer to work on a drop-spindle and to spin much more finely than the Romney.

Readers’ Comments/Questions
Regarding my characterization of someone with a harelip, Lesley asks, “Perhaps I have miscontrued your comments – did you intend them to be tongue-in-cheek?”

Kind of. I actually knew a student who was both mentally slow and had a harelip in the third grade. I’m aware that not all folks with harelips are “morons” like our president. You forgot to mention one of my favorite actors with a harelip, Joaquin Phoenix (although he says it’s not a harelip, but a birthmark).

Susan asks, “I’d be interested in knowing specifically why you think his open mic comments were ‘ridiculous’ and ‘completely inappropriate.'”

He spoke with world leaders as if they were fraternity members. I think he shows pathetically little respect and garners the same for his too-informal speaking.

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