Dirty Little Secrets
Today, I’d like to play “truth or dare” for the readers, but truth is the only option. Specifically, I’d like to know what are some of your guilty pleasures.
QueerJoe’s Guilty Pleasures
Being such a snob about so many things, including food, and travel and movies and people, I have a small list of things that I love, but I’m not proud about loving them.
1. I love a bologna and cheese sandwich on white bread with plain yellow mustard…the cheaper the bologna, the better.
2. Dirty Dancing is one of my most shameful and beloved movies.
3. I could spend hours reading an issue of People Magazine
4. For about a year, I used to love browsing through the local dollar stores, and I would often spend over $20 in a visit.
5. I have become an expert in both Freecell and Solitaire, two of the games delivered with most MS Windows computers.
6. If I eat just one Hostess Donette (the powdered sugar ones…not the chocolate covered ones), I have to finish the whole box.
So, what are some of your shameful pleasures?
Current Knitting
Since my last post on Wednesday, I have had little desire to knit or crochet anything. I have done some work on the Trekking sock.
You’ll see I finished the first sock, and I’ve started on the second one. I’ve mentioned that I have combined three components of different socks into this pair of socks. The toe is a standard toe-up using a figure eight faux-cast-on, like Judy Gibson describes. I know there are other as good or better cast-ons, but I’m comfortable with this one. I cast on a total of 24 stitches, and then increase every other round until I have 64 stitches on the needles.
The heel is something I found on the Socknitter’s List. Colin of Colinknits, has invented a heel he calls the Andersson heel (I assume that’s his last name). It requires no picking up of stitches, and it’s relatively simple to do, once you understand his instructions. He’s written a description of it twice, but I think it would have been easier to just write a pattern, and have folks adapt it based on all the questions he seems to be getting about it.
But despite all that, it’s a comfortable heel, and easy to execute.
Finally, the upper part of the sock is from The Knitting Man(ual). It’s not a pleasure to do this stitch, especially if you knit tightly, like I do, but it looks great for a man’s sock. I extended the pattern on the front of the sock a little lower than the back, and I’m very pleased with the result.
Readers’ Comments/Questions
Marilyn writes, “By the way, the sock yarn is Trekking. Just in case you lost the band, which I always do.”
She is exactly right…I just didn’t have the band with me when I posted last. It’s color number 69 (my favorite number).
Karen writes, “Could you maybe describe how you keep all of your knitting supplies organized? Especially needles. I have a small space and am constantly searching for the size I need.”
As Thaddeus will gladly tell you, I don’t really keep anything organized, or at least not very neatly. I took a picture of my main knitting area, which is the chair where I watch television, exactly as it looks most of the time.
It’s an old wooden tool shelf that works wonderfully for the purpose of knitting. On the bottom shelf, you can see some of my cones of yarn (I have dozens more in a closet upstairs). The top shelf is partitioned off, and I keep my stitch markers, crochet hooks, needle gauge, current knitting book(s) and all my so-called straight needles) On the right side of the top shelf, are a bunch of holes that I can just put my straight needles through without them falling through. The handle for the tool shelf extends out on the left and right of the shelf, and I hang my cable needles on the protrusions. The cat knocks the cable needles down every once in a while.
1. Slim Jims
2. Days of Our Lives
3. Playing my kid’s Webkinz account (basically, video games)
4. True crime shows on Court TV(e.g. where the group of 4 “psychics” try to figure out unsolved crimes)
5. Singing along to the soundtrack from Les Miz in the car (only when alone).
Oh, Joe, I feel so dirty…
I’m with you on the bologna sandwich, Joe. Only mine has white bread, bologna, mayo, and mustard. No cheese. But if I have cheese, it’s a slice of American cheese, just to complete the experience. Shameful.
Oh yeah,
6. Pop-tarts (strawberry)
7. The movie “The Cutting Edge” (“toe pick!”)
Using your list as a template:
1. Tongue, center cut, on rye with mustard
2. Men in Black and Men in Black II
3. Country Living Mag
4. Nordstroms make up counters and just a wee more than $20 a visit.
5. Jewel Quest Solitaire and I have carpal tunnel to show for it
6. Wise Potato Chips or in a pinch, any other brand of greasy plain old chips.
I guess I don’t have any guilty pleasures – I must lack the guilty gene.
Have you ever tried Mary Ann Beattie’s Crazy Toes and Heels? Her method for a heel turn is similar to Colin’s, but MUCH less confusing. Doesn’t even require thinking.
I recently bought that same colorway of Trekking to make some socks for DH… I love it.
Of guilty pleasures, I have many:
1. People magazine
2. Peanut Butter and dill pickle sandwiches, on white bread. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
3. Any gangster movie.
4. Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me”.
Can’t help it. I just can’t.
1. Edith Piaf (non, je ne regrette rien, dammit)
2. MacDonald’s french fries (piping hot, else away with ye).
3. ELO’s Greatest Hits (“Mr. Blue Sky” is my current favorite “get my pace back” running tune)
4. The remake of “The Parent Trap” (alas poor Lindsay, I knew you when you were cutex2)
5. Vintage Doctor Who (I blame my husband)
6. I’m with Liza on the potato chip thing.
1. bologna, white bread, mayo, with smashed potato chips.
2. any of the huntsville games
3. I read poeple magazine at wamart
(I will read but will not buy)
4. reading your blog (and all your
“my blog links”
5.keeping up appearences bbc
I did not mean to anon Gina
liverwurst and swiss on whole wheat with plain yellow mustard.
toss-up amongst “american in paris”, “sleepless in seattle”, “the music man”.
I am great at “tripeaks”, a 3 level solitare computer game.
ben and jerry’s chunky monkey ice cream – pop the top and I can’t stop til the whole damn thing is gone!
calling in sick to work so I can stay home and knit!
PS – nice leg shots, joe. whoot whoot!
1) Watching “American Chopper”
2) still playing an occasional DnD game at 36
3) Reading LOLcats sites
4) Left to my own devices I’d scarf down an entire jar of dill pickles
I love fried bologna! Hmmm.
I don’t really feel guilty about much of anything, but I do have a real weakness for almost anything sweet – a product of my Southern upbringing. I think the slightly chaotic organizational skill thing must be an aries trait, since our birthdays are 2 days apart. At any rate, that’s what I’m going to tell David, since it tends to drive his Taurean, everything-in-its-place self to distraction, if not quite to drinking.
This is a hard one. Hm..
Since it’s guilty pleasures, here’s mine:
1. Expensive mozzarella cheese. I’m a college kid.. good cheese isn’t exactly in my budget. Give me some baguette and good cheese for dinner and I am set. Mmmm.
2. Listening to songs on repeat on my iPod. Much to my boyfriends chagrin, it’s usually Tori Amos.
3. TMZ.com . That site is horrible and perpetuates everything that I, as a feminist, should go against.. but I can’t help popping over there if I have time to kill.
4. I love the show My Name is Earl.
5. If I have a big batch of laceweight at home to dye, I *just might* cut class sometimes.
I used to like Freecell but prefer Spider Solitaire.
1. Brioche with raspberry ‘pepites’ this stuff is incredibly more-ish
2. The film ‘Real Genius’
3. Playing ‘The Ballad of Jayne Cobb’ from Firefly whenever I’m feeling a bit low
4. Jaffa Cakes
5. Watching ‘fix your life by changing your wardrobe/cleaning your house’ type programmes on BBC3
Incidentally, BBC2 had a Stephen Fry weekend, this past weekend. There’s also a new documentary that he’s done about HIV that’s being shown on Tuesday night. I expect it to be excellent. I have a strong compulsion to go out and by DVDs of his various films and some of his books, unfortunately I don’t have the budget.
Colin’s heel looks very interesting but I find his blog posts and the posts on the UKHandknitters Yahoo group very irritating so I tend to ignore them.
I did get Cat Bordhi’s new book recently and that looks very intriguing, I would suggest you try and have a flick through it at some point.
Oh, guilty pleasures, there is only one that tinks the guilt button.
1 Good meals, home cooking, butter, espresso.
2 Devils food cake with white icing from a local grocery.
3 Computer games…Pogo and Guild Wars.
4 I hate wearing a bra and will not unless in public
5 Good wine or Crown Royal..a glass or two (sometimes 3) every night.
6. Dr. Phill, the Jerrry Springer of the middle class. Shame. (have you noticed that everyone in the audience is white, blond, and attractive?)
7. Steven King, “Oh, God Where Are You,” Harry Potter, Dr. Who, HBO (Oz, Big Love, Rome, etc.)
All my pleasures are guilty ones! 🙂
*fried spam
*chocolate-coated donettes (I only buy the little tube of them, but I always eat them all.)
*hambugers sold in little silvery packets at the AM/PM mini market.
*watching the Today show
*If I start watching The People’s Court, I can’t stop. Or any stupid show for that matter. I usually see things like this at the nail salon, and I sit there and wait for my nails to dry and my eyes are glued to whatever trash tv is on.
*I wear pants with elastic waists almost all the time.
1) Footballers Wives (Awesome Trashy BBC show that should never have been cancelled)
2) Anything Jane Austen or Jane Austen inspired. I think I can recite P&P by heart.
3) Spray cheese in a can but only chedder. It’s soo good and so shameful.
4) Showering on weekends when we stay in…I’m just really bad about it. I like to just veg in my pjs all day. Come sunday though I have just have to bath…its not right if i don’t
5) Romance novels. I know they’re trashy but sometimes I just want a good sex scene.
1. Amy Winehouse–Tears Dry On my Own is my replayreplayreplay song.
2. Dylan Moran.
3.Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster.
4.Christmas Eve
5.Checking AM blog.
Fab socks Joe!!!!
My Secret pleasures here in Holland( I always do it in the open) are:
1)white bread, thick butter with strawberryjam with very old Dutch Cheese.
2) White soft bread with a thick layer of Butter and peanutbutter with lots of milk chocolate sprinkles (called here chocoladehagel)
3) Pinking a tear away when Judy Garland sings about “the Man that has gone away”
4)Watching the same nice Man on the railwayplatform every morning on my way to work with a nice hot cappucino in my hand.
5)Buying too expensive underwear
But nr 1 and 2 I eat hardly because I never buy that kind of bread normally.
O….. Gosh….. forgot something…..really important:
6) the little House on the prairie (book and tv)
7) reading your blog everyday!!
1) Strained tinned tomatoes , hot with a dash of vinegar and bread dip.( it disgusts my family).
2) Yarn ..too much for my lifetime.
3) Waiting until my husband is out to watch my Rupert Everett film collection so he won’t make the same comments “I said GORING” when his character tells anyone he is Lord Goring .Watching “To Kill a King” 1000x has to be included.
4) Having rather naughty dreams about the newscaster Jon Snow ….known here for his wild socks and ties and for me his voice.
Damn Joe, politically you share many similarities with my husband, but on the guilty pleasure thing, we’re nearly identical! The only changes I’d make is that I’d leave out the cheese on the bologna sandwich, and right after I’d finish reading People, I’d open up an US Weekly. Same stories, just a slightly trashier version.
My mother used to send me to school each day with a yogurt or some healthful sandwich complete with high-quality whole grained bread. I’d immediately trade with my best friend Bonnie for her bologna sandwich on soft white bread with bright yellow mustard. Yum.
1) Listening to the Princess Diaries on CD
2) Dying Yarn (instead of studying)
3) America’s Next Top Model
4) Shopping for awesome cheap sweaters at Goodwill (My mother reports that the last time she donated materials and mentioned me, they recalled who I was. Apparently I’m not furtive enough)
5) Voice-over Kung-fu movies
The mere mention of socks that one doesn’t pick up stitches for in the heel has given me a fit of shakes and shivers. I don’t know if I’ve been this excited ever since I discovered stitch markers.
1. Funyuns, cheap White Zinfandel, and chocolate fudge pop-tarts.
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer tv show. Thanks to Pat, I have seen every single episode. Thanks to my husband, twice. But bringing this up with other moms is very chancy.
3. Holding a sleeping baby, though I know I should be putting her in her crib.
4. Buying yarn (or fabric) I don’t have a plan for using. I’ve got alot of this purposeless yarn. I could probably make a purposeless yarn sweater or two.
5. Spider Solitaire and Civilization 3 computer games.
1. The most artery-clogging sandwich in the world – braunschweiger on whole wheat with mayo. I’ll be dreaming about it when they put me under for my coronary bypass.
2. The movie “Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion”. I’m so ashamed…
3. I can’t actually bring myself to purchase them, but I LOVE reading the cheesy tabloid headlines in the checkout aisle.
4. Hardware stores… I’m a total tool whore.
5. Can I get tarred and feathered for admitting that my current favorite computer game is Jigsawdoku? It’s utterly lame and I can’t. Stop. Playing.
6. If you like chocolate chip cookies, don’t bring them to my house, because you won’t get to eat any.
Forgot “Weekly World News.” Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was really a cross-dressing female? Yup. Plenty more good dirt in that rag, I mean, fine publication.
C’mon, people, some of these pleasures aren’t guilty enough! Dig deeper.
And let’s hear more about Jan’s expensive underwear.
1) Doritos. But only the Nacho Cheese ones. Even better is a 3 course meal of Doritos, Moon Pie and Dr. Pepper. All your southern programmer’s major food groups.
2) for TV – in the past Highlander (although I understand I recently missed a TV movie that I must now hunt down) and Beastmaster – which have the benefits of beefcake, martial arts, weird story lines and a cult follow, currently America’s Top Model (which is bizarrely addictive and has none of the benefits of the previous shows)
3) Enigmo. and Enigmo 2.
4) Webs….sigh. I get palpatations. Good thing I no longer live within casual driving distance. Sadly, they know where I live. I got a catalog today.
5) Little bit of Mambo. aka Mambo #5. First song I downloaded on to my iPod from iTunes. Oh dear. I hang my head in shame. I am tempted to anon this….
I’m loving that heel.
6.English version of Country Living.
7. Marie Claire Idees (can be SO very French-ily cheesy)
8. James Nesbitt, especially as sweet Pig Finn. James Nesbitt, full stop.
9.The Thirty-nine Steps.
10.Doris Day version of The Man WHo Knew Too Much
Greetings from Denton, TX. FEH! I wanna go home.
Anyway, my guilty pleasures are:
1. Bologna on white bread with mayo and sweet relish.
2. A large bag of M&Ms and diet Coke.
3. People and Vanity Fair, good for hours of entertainment
4. Playing poker, gin, spades, and Lottso on Pogo.com
5. Giving Nealie a BJ (God, I can’t believe I wrote that…but it’s true and it should be #1)
6. Raw tollhouse cookie dough–note that I said tollhouse, not chocolate chip cookies. There is a difference.
7. Dairy Queen anything but preferably an Oreo Blizzard.
So much guilt, so little time…
Goetz’s caramel creams–if I eat one I eat the whole damn package
butter–fuck margarine
Del’s double dipped cashew caramel chocolate apples–typing this I gained a pound–strictly a September and October treat
White Castle cheeseburgers–one of the very few happy childhood memories I have. My grandpa would take my brothers and I once or twice a year–and woe to him if he didn’t get me as many as he did my brothers(alas, my children hate them)
Robocop–one damn funny movie, and I wish I had some blue cashmere the blue shade of Peter Weller’s eyes
Talladaga Nights–so low, so redneck, so dumb, so funny
Supernatual–have you seen those hot boys?(it really freaks out my daughters that we all think they are hot)
My secrets come with me to my grave lol!
Guilty Pleasures that’s another story
1. I can watch the Sci-Fi Channel all day long.
2. I love the old movies, Bacall, Bogart, Bette Davis.
3. I eat 1 oz of dark chocolate every day.
4. I love Reuben Sandwiches.
5. Anything I don’t wear it or use in a year’s time I give it away.
6. I am very thrifty, I don’t like to waste money, but I know how to spend.
7. I compensate for my shyness by being outgoing!
8. Underneath all my clothes I am always naked.
9. I believe in the Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #192 Never cheat a Klingon…unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
Thanks you
So so uplifted and feel better as a person just knowing soneone’s A nearly retirement-aged one at that) shared that giving her erstwhile boyfriend a blowjob is such a plesaure and so worthy of sharing with Joe’s readers.
How “all’s right with the world ” I feel now.
I want to know whether the tollhouse cookie dough is involved in any way with it.
I have to agree with the bologna and cheese. When I was little my mom would make bologna gravy and serve it over toast (not a meal I will share with my family). I also love ham and ketchup sanwiches. Then again, I also love plain potato chips dipped in ketchup. I’ve been told it’s a PA Dutch thing, but I think my family was just odd.
My 9 year old is the dollar store junkie. For gifts, the whole family buys her gift cards to the local dollar store. When I go I try to have as little money on me as possible because I can spend a lot too.
My online card game addiction is canasta. I can’t play it with real people, but I’m pretty good at playing it on the computer. Hubby just introduced me to the joy of MMorpg’s. I’m majorly hooked on one called Tales of Pirates. I guess it’s my D&D fix since no one I know plays D&D anymore.
By the way Joe, love the socks and the legs. I”m jelous, it takes me two months to knit a sock.
Arent #1 and #5 the same thing, Marilyn?
Funny. I feel guilty over a lot of things, but not too many of them are guilty pleasures.
1. Ice cream. The latest is Goldschlager, and it never really solidified. Maybe I should make vanilla and have milkshakes.
2. Fantasy Football. I don’t really know that much about the sport, but I love watching my points rack up.
3. I used to read VC Andrews as a guilty pleasure, but nowadays I just reread all of the childrens books I have instead. They are a higher class of fiction.
4. Oh, and instant (especially roasted garlic flavor) mashed potatoes with extra butter and milk.
Of those? Ice cream is a way of life, not a guilt any day of the week.
Another one for your hot killer wall, Blackwater Chief Executive Erik Prince
1. Googling “queerjoe underpants knitting” to see you in your underwear.
2. Checking your blog to see if you have posted more skin shots.
Thank you for making a simple gay knitter happy.
1) Law and Order: SVU
2) McVittie’s Chocolate Covered Digestives
3) Shoes
Isn’t Marilyn’s #7 exactly the same as her #5 as well?
Sugar-free Jello with Cool Whip
Waaa! I love this picture of your chair. I am glad to see I am not alone in my pile of yarn-related items. 🙂
I’ll play the guilty pleasures:
1. KFC 2 pcs of dark meat, original recipe with biscuits and honey. I allow myself this treat twice a year (when I get my oil changed).
2. Donuts. Maple iced and cream filled with chocolate icing. Again twice a year when I get my blood tests.
3. Kicking the car up to 80-85 MPH on open stretches of freeway. Must test my good German engineering.
4. Shopping at Goodwill.
5. Did someone say computer card games and scrabulous?
Hi Queerjoe, I love your blog. I love your knitting area.. I knit on the bed and I have yarn all over that my cats think is there for them.
My guilty pleasures are
1 Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk. I can go through a can in two days.And that’s using my will power.
2.I too know freecell but I also play some games on Pogo
Mostly my hubby and I play World of Warcraft though I also play Lord of the Rings online game.
3. Shopping on line. LOVE IT. But then I like shopping anytime.