This can be one of the more awful insults a gay man can hear, but I think it’s more because aging as a gay man is something many of us fear more than we’d care to consider. And perhaps rightfully so.
Getting into old age brings with it all sorts of terrifying issues that really seem to have no ready answers. Many gay men have no children on whom they could rely if/when they get to a point where they’ll need help with navigating life. So, here are some of the issues I ponder often as I start looking at the future:
My mom is still alive and quite healthy and active, both physically and mentally (between Thaddeus and I, she’s the only parent living). She’s in her eighties, and I’d love to believe that she’ll be in the same state of health and vitality until the day she dies, I don’t know that I can count on that. I live a couple of miles from her, and I also have siblings who will work to make sure she’s taken care of in the same way she took care of us. But her well-being is something I consider a high priority.
When making decisions as to when I want to stop work and start enjoying the life I’ve been saving for for over 30 years, it’s exceedingly difficult to determine how long I’ll be around and how much money I’ll need to live. Especially, when you take a look at the cost of assisted living, health care and other senior expenses. I want to make sure I don’t run out at any point, since I don’t really have a fallback position, but I’ll also be incredibly pissed if I drop dead the day after I stop working and others get to benefit from my careful planning (most probably, I won’t be pissed…I’ll be dead).
Partner and Personal Health
Thaddeus is five years older than I am, and we both kind of expect that he will reach a point where he requires assistance before I will. Not sure how he or I will feel about one of us taking care of the other if one of us is physically or mentally unable to do things. I’m also not sure how either of us would feel about the other putting us in a senior home to care for something like the inability to get around or Alzheimer’s.
While we’ve done all the work around financial planning and legal planning (wills, powers of attorney, living wills, etc.) I think there is still potentially more planning we’ll have to include to make sure we know how each other wants to go forward given various scenarios.
I finished plying the British Romney and the pine merino singles.
I opted to ply with a rather tight twist. The merino singles had been sitting around for a few years, so I figured when they get wet, they’ll spring back a little and offset the tight twist of the plying. I’ll let you know how that goes. I also still need to measure yardage and weight to get the grist weight of the yarn.
Catherine writes, “Hi Joe! Is the scarf warm enough for an Edmonton winter? Is anything warm enough for an Edmonton winter? Also, what is the trekking colourway? I have a hard time coming up with acceptable man sock yarn…that is, yarn I would knit and yarn the man would wear. How is your peanut butter stash?”
When dealing with the ultra-cold days in Edmonton, I found a good down coat could always keep my upper body warm, and any scarf that padded around the neck opening helped…this one would work just fine and look fantastic. The Trekking XXL colorway is 275 (Tweedy dark olive green), and it works extremely well with bright high-contrast color heels and toes. My peanut butter stash is still fine. I’ll be going up to Montreal in November, so I can supplement as needed then.