QueerJoe

QueerJoe's Knitting Blog
Poop Match

After a Poop – Light A Match!

How many of you have heard it helps to light a match after you poop? Do you know why? Today I tell you why and also my secret for any guest bathroom.

First, The Science of Poop Match Lighting

Many say you should light a match after using the bathroom.  I always thought the match did two things.  It burned off any flammable gas around the match light.  And it created heat to make the remaining gas rise above nose level.

Turns out, I was incorrect on both counts.

Lighting a match actually works by producing a smell that’s even stronger than poop smell!

Mythbusters,” did an episode where they filled a sealed container with hydrogen sulfide and methyl mercaptan (the compounds that are found in both farts and feces that makes them smell). When then measured the concentrations of these gases before and after lighting a match they found that the accumulation of gases didn’t change. So much for my theory about burning off gas.

What they found was that lighting a match produces sulfur dioxide, a smell-causing compound that’s even stronger (and less disagreeable) than methyl mercaptan. So it turns out a match only disguises poop smell!

QueerJoe’s Poop-Match Secret

If you have a powder-room or toilet that guests use when they visit, you should consider leaving matches in the room.  When a guest must do something that creates a smell, they will want to avoid embarrassment.  Let them light a match.

But not just any match.  Let them light an incense match!

Incense Poop Matches

I thought this was a brilliant idea.  To create matches where the stem of the match was infused with incense.  This way it creates two smells.  And both of them are much better than the one the body creates.

I keep an open pack of Incense “Poop” Matches on the vanity in our guest bathroom.  We also keep a large Mason Jar of extras in the cabinet underneath.

Incense Poop Matches Jar

We love these things.  And we hope they bring a bit of comfort to guests that want to avoid embarrassment!

Current Knitting

Working diligently, I finished the Off-White and Variegated Color Garter Stripe Scarf!

Garter Striped Scarf 11-22-19 01

I still need to weave in a few ends, and I did end up running out of the variegated yarn 81 stitches short of the last row.  But I still love how this beauty turned out.  It’s 5.5″ wide and VERY LONG!

Garter Striped Scarf 11-13-19 03

It turned out to be about 102″ (8.5 feet).

5 comments on “After a Poop – Light A Match!

  1. My husband has severe Crohns disease so we are well acquainted with matches but like you, I thought they burned off the gases. I have learned something today!

  2. Of all the things I never expected to learn from a knitting blog —
    1) that regular matches are said to mask poop smell
    2) that they do, by out-scenting the poop
    3) that such a thing as incense matches exist
    I have a chronic disease that requires me to think about ways to shield others from odor, so it is amazing to me that I knew none of this. I just ordered a bunch of incense matches. Joe, you are a wonder.

  3. I really like the 102″ long striped scarf but can’t remember the name of the colored (striped) yarn that you used. Help?
    Marcia

    1. Hi Marcia…good news and bad news. Bad news is that I have no idea what yarn this is. It was the last half of a sock yarn I used with a Knitted Cross Stitch Scarf and it had no label (and I couldn’t find it in my blog history). Good news is that any interesting variegated colors would really work with this scarf, so just find one where you like the colorway and go for it!

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