QueerJoe

QueerJoe's Knitting Blog
Easton Mountain Temple Deck Rebuild

Expanding My Perspective

There is a lot going on in my World. And I’m realizing there are many different ways of handling anxiety, grief and stress. I handle it by expanding my perspective.

Expanding My Perspective Can Overcome Overwhelming Circumstances

First of all, let it be recognized that this is a very self-centered post. It’s all about me. I don’t apologize for it. Sometimes I need to go inside. Expressing what I’m going through here is my way of coping.  I also hope it might allow folks who read it some solace or serenity in their lives.

Now about me.

This week will be the first Men’s Knitting Retreat at Easton Mountain that I will not be attending in-person. In the 13 years we’ve been doing this, I feel like I’m ruining a pristine record. I’m also desperately missing the community of guys who will be there. The feature photo today is of the Temple building at Easton Mountain. Our group help fund the replacement of the deck.

So, COVID-19 is the overall backdrop for this sadness. Months of hunkering down away from people. Only to know there will be months more in the future.

Then the announcement of the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Like many, this really shook me. I honestly had really hoped she would be around until next year at least. As many of us, I grieved the loss of a true patriot and hero. I desperately worried about the future of the United States.

Then the death of someone dearly loved in the knitting community. Cat Bordhi touched an amazing number of people in my beloved community. My heart ached for the people who knew her well.

Grief, Anxiety, And Loneliness

It was starting to feel overwhelming. I honestly don’t handle multiple complex emotions very well. Or at least I haven’t in the past.

I considered getting in contact with a spiritual guide to help put things in perspective. But, sleeping on it, I realized I knew what I needed. It became clear that I needed to realize that there is a much bigger plan…a plan I couldn’t see all the parts of.

I was able to expand beyond the small bubble of self-centered ideas. When I was able to realize that there were resources way beyond what I was aware to help bring some equilibrium back to the World, I knew I would be fine.

Yes, I know we all handle big feelings in different ways. And yes, we all have different levels of capacity. This is how I deal with it, and my fervent hope for you is that you find a successful way too.

Current Knitting

I was powering through the three repeats of the cabling on the Hallgrim Scarf  when I got the news about Justice Ginsberg.

Hallgrim Scarf 09-20-20 01 Hallgrim Scarf 09-20-20 02

I’m glad I had gotten through the part that required a lot of attention. My attention span had dwindled to nothing. For the next few feet of this design, it’s a rather simple twisted rib, two-row repeat.  I could handle that. Or maybe not. During the more turbulent emotional days, I decided to just put down any complex knitting and work on something easy and mindless.

I started a new Knitted Cross Stitch Scarf.

Knitted Cross Stitch Scarf 09-21-20 02

I’ve made so many of these, it takes very little concentration. The rhythm of this design is soothing and calming for me.

This is two colorways of a Zitron yarn called Triologie (75% Virgin Wool, 15% Silk, 10% Linen).

Knitted Cross Stitch Scarf 09-20-20 01

Colorways Bavaria (darker purple one) and Bohemia.

6 comments on “Expanding My Perspective

  1. The loss of RGB and Cat Bordhi has shaken us in this unprecidented year of pain and turmoil, but I am wishing you peace in your perspective. … and great job on the deck it is a testament to hope for the future

  2. Thank you for sharing the concept of greater resources beyond what we individually know of to bring balance back into the world. It brought me a great deal of comfort. Some days, it feels like the bad guys are winning at every turn, but that “big picture” won’t stay dreary forever. Courage, Joe!

  3. Love and Light first of all…
    I just want to express that in my opinion your sharing of the realness of your grief is not self centered. We all need to know that we humans have very real feelings and challenges. I know it helps me that you shared. So thank you.
    These ‘covid’ days are driving me a bit crazy. I miss my dad, my brother, live music, the gym, and just sitting down in a restaurant relaxing. I like the ‘therapy’ you started, it’s beautiful 😻

  4. I am shock to hear of Cat Bordhi passing, she was my idol. I love her techniques. Also of RGB. We all have a lot to worried about now. Sorry you are not coming I was looking forward to meeting you.

  5. Yes, sir. I feel the pain as well. I have not been isolated from work but I have been from family and friends. I am a funeral director so this experience has been a tough one. I know the truth of the horrific nature of this pandemic and still have folks walk in spouting the denials that have our world running down the tragic path it is running. The passing of RBG is such a loss to the nation.
    I too am terrified for what the future holds. However, I know there are many, many strong and tenacious hearts and minds who will never give up. We will never stop loving and working toward a better more peaceful and inclusive world where we can all be free and all be protected and cared for. We shall overcome.

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