Despite all the sage advice from movies and media to “just be yourself,” it seems I still always try being who I am not.

Is Being Who I Am Not Better Than Who I Am?

The judgmental side of me always wonders why people try to present themselves better than they are. Hair weaves, abdominal compression garments, butt inserts, make-up, etc. When it comes down to it, trying to cover up flaws never seems to be a permanent solution. People are eventually going to see you as you are. At least any people that will matter to you in the long run. No?

And yet, if that were the case, my feature photo for today would have looked more like this.

Bed hair, low camera angle, cluttered surroundings, wrinkled t-shirt, etc.

Don’t get me wrong. I will continue to go against the sage advice of a day-time movie parent and try at least a little to present myself slightly better than I really am. Partly it’s fear of being judged and the less-than-pristine self-esteem that I continue to work on. Honestly, I have taken self-photos of myself in the past thinking, that I don’t really care what people think. And then I look at the resulting photo and tell myself, there is no fucking way I’m going to post that photo. It’s also the peer pressure of other social media so-called successes who present their best possible look. And I think I should do the same.

Do folks really care? I’m not sure. Does it serve a purpose? Again, I really don’t know.

Current Knitting

I continued to work on the Millamia Baby Blanket over this past weekend.

So far, I’ve almost finished three balls of the yarn and I have about 16″ of blanket completed.

I’m loving the fabric this blanket is creating. It’s loose and silky. And I’m finding the color to be very rich for such a subtle color, soft-silver. I’m thinking I’ll make an approximately square blanket and then knit a sew-on edging. Not sure what edge I’ll use yet.