It’s still hard to imagine how I was so fortunate. In 1983, Thaddeus and became a couple, and unbelievably, it’s now forty years together.

Shocking That It’s Forty Years Together

The traditional gift of rubies doesn’t even seem sufficient to mark such a milestone.

Thaddeus and I had a bit of a rocky start at the beginning. We met about six weeks before we decided to get together as a couple. But when we did, it seemed to go quickly and easily. We moved in quickly with each other. Our models for adult relationships was our parents. So we also quickly started treating each other as a spouse. This is what he looked like when I met him.

Some of things that have made our relationship last:

• We’re both relatively pragmatic and sane, so there’s never been a lot of drama.
• Thaddeus and I both think commitment is important…important enough to work for.
• We had incredibly supportive friends and family.
• Our core values were very similar.

One quick story I’ll relate. Thaddeus had an older friend who was also a couples therapist. Terry spoke with Thaddeus about his new relationship and asked if he could give us a free therapy session. Terry asked us very simple questions. How long did we envision our relationship would last? What were our views on monogamy? What were our thoughts and expectations about money?

It gave us the opportunity to get to know each other much better. And at the end of the session, Terry handed each of us his business card. He asked us both to keep his card and to promise him that if we ever decided to split up, we’d speak with him first.

While I never needed to call Terry, I kept his card in my wallet for decades. Even after Terry passed away. His early support of our commitment helped us both have a clear vision of who we wanted to be as a couple. I will always be grateful for Terry’s gift to us.

40th Anniversary Celebration

Thaddeus and I have decided that we will celebrate our anniversary with a visit to Hot Dog Johnny’s.

It may not seem overly glamorous, but it’s a meaningful place for us over the last 40 years (and more for Thaddeus).

Current Knitting

I’ve made quite a bit of progress on the most recent Anica Shawl.

It’s a difficult garment to photograph. If I don’t lighten the photo, the subtle, dark hues don’t show, and if I do, the contrast between the bright colors and the sombre darks don’t show. But this shawl is going to be fucking gorgeous.

Thank you to ccr in MA for more information on Bugga…she writes:

“Happy blogiversary! I’m not sure if it’s identical, but Dragonfly Fibers now makes at least a similar Bugga yarn, which feels nice to me. https://www.dragonflyfibers.com/shop/yarn/?filter_base=bugga“

The fiber content is the same…70% superwash merino, 20% cashmere, and 10% nylon. But the put-up has changed to 4 ounces(113 grams)/364 yards to 4.3 ounces(122 grams)/412 yards. I’m glad to have this yarn continue…it’s wonderful to work with.

Gisela writes:

“The NEMFKR shawl is lovely. Is there a pattern available or strictly for the retreat?”

The NEMFKR Shawl was designed by one of the guys from that retreat and I’m not sure if it’s ever been published. I test-knit it for him, so I have the pattern (in beta form). As soon as it’s published, I’ll announce it on the blog.