No-Sew No-Crochet User-Friendly Willie Warmer

Adapted from www.keyway.net/crafts/wwpat.htm by Robert Jenkins

What follows is my take on the original with real-life adaptations, assuming the Warmer is not done entirely as a joke or novelty, but a real male accessory intended for use. (A great gift for a kilt-wearer!). It is chatty but frank, but not at all R-rated. However those with a delicate inner nature and the pre-pubescent will need to stop here ’til they grow up.

I first made the Willie Warmer from the pattern as written. I love the stripes. (I think  a Warmer with the shaft a soft pink and the sac and shaft tip a nice deep rose would be so becoming!) I love the way the sac ends in two gathers. It gives the sac a very natural look (two lobes). However, I’m ending the sac with an opening gathered by a drawstring. This is to make seating the mansac fully down into the knitted sac easier. It also provides emergency access without having to remove the Warmer. The knitted shaft also ends with a gather for the much same reasons: to more easily get Willie into his snuggly wormskin (A friend uses his PA to pull <blush>) and one can answer any of the myriad calls of nature without removing the whole Warmer; one need only loosen the gather. I have also added a gusset between the sac and shaft, because in the original, the Warmer pulled in uncomfortably on the overall opening (added in crochet at the finish in the original). I also changed the pattern to replace the crocheted loops edging with knitted eyelets. I don’t do a lot of crochet or crochet add-ons to knitting. Ask anyone.  😉

Gauge is vital. Too big is better than too small. But  just right is wonderful! Measure, measure, measure. The sizing of an intimate garment should not be left up to guesswork if indeed the Warmer is to be worn! If you must guess, then make it too big! Your man will certainly be complimented and even with too much room, the Warmer can still be worn comfortably. I made mine to accommodate Captain Willie when he is both fast asleep and when he is up and ready to do battle, if ya’ get me drift…….If you gauge, you can do the shaft to size but with a touch of ease, sized for the battle mode. This will leave more than enough room for sleeping accommodations.

Experienced knitters can use the following to translate it to their favorite mode of circular knitting. I wrote my version assuming you have some circular knitting experience already. I hope the less experienced don’t feel shorted.

I read recently that a lot of people have trouble with patterns when they are given too many options to choose from. They feel lost and confused. They wonder which is “the best” choice. I hope you will not let the options I mention worry you. I hope they will give you room to take charge and

make some small “designing” choices of your own. You know more than you think you do. Give it a shot. There are only choices and the chance to learn.

Willie Warmer Pattern

Needles: 3.75mm (size 5 American) I used one circular needle, 47″ in length, in the “Magic Loop” method of circular knitting, but you can use two 24″, or 4 or 5 double-points, length to suit yourself, or whatever you want to use……

Materials: I used Brown Sheep’s Lamb’s Pride. But use whatever you like. If you go through the pattern once at 5.5 sts per gauge as written, you’ll get how it all works and can design your own for finer weight yarns.

For the closure ties, I used that shiny “rat tail” cord you can find at

fabric shops and some crafts stores.

Gauge: I got 5.5 sts per inch/2.5 cm.

Basics:

One inch= 2.5 cm.

SSK: Slip two sts separately, then K2tog TBL, or slip1, knit one, and pass the slipped st over.

TBL: Through the back of the loops.

YO: Yarn over, wool-round-needle, etc.

The following is done for a well-endowed friend. A battle-ready girth of 6″ was required. The original pattern doesn’t mention gauge, but when I first knitted it, my choice of yarn and needles magically turned out in these dimensions.

Cast on 84 sts, a multiple of 4, or using your own gauge, cast on enough sts to give you a circumference of about 15 1/2 inches (38.75cm). You can of course make it to your desired size! The notes assume your gauge is pretty close to mine in the example.

Round 1: Knit.

Round 2. Knit

Round 3: Purl.

Round 4:  *YO, K2tog* around. (The eyelets for drawstring.)

Rounds 5 through 10: Knit. Mark the last round. (Safety pin or yarn through sts.)

Round 11: Now, if you’re using my numbers, knit 26 sts, place the next 32 on a waste yarn holder, and knit the final 26 sts. You can substitute whatever numbers you have.

We’re working the sac first.

Round 12: Make the gusset. Knit the first half of the sac, and cast on anywhere from a *good* 1″ of sts (to the + side of an inch by gauge) to 2″worth of sts. Add the sts in even numbers for easier figuring). The important thing is the width of the gusset. If you add the 1″ plus two as I did, we’ll next reduce those away by decreases every other round, but if you add a full 2″, you can reduce every round. For numbers in between, every other round, then every round, or whatever. After making one, you’ll know more about how

to proceed and refine the shaping. Keep that notebook handy and use it! (I cast on 8 sts using a bit of waste yarn, but it gets a little fiddly later when you unpick the waste yarn and pick up sts. It’s much easier knitting on the sts from the purl side, either by the cable method between sts, or purling onto the st.)

Finish knitting the round.

Round 13: Knit. Sts should be placed on the needles so that the beginning of the round is opposite the  gusset and the gusset sts are divided in half. I do it after round 13 and before round 14.

Round 14: Begin gusset decreases. Knit 25 sts (or use your #s) and SSK (last sac st with first gusset st). Knit 6 sts (or your # to last gusset st) and K last gusset st together with the next sac st.

Round 15: Knit.

Continue decreasing the gusset sts, either every other round, or if you added 2″ or more of sts, then decrease every round. You may of course decrease using you own personal formula! When the gusset sts are gone,work even on the original number of sts (here I’m using 52), until you have done about 18 rounds above the marked round. The ‘boys’ will need ample room in here, so do at least 18. (Nature has provide that the mansac expand and contract to regulate testicle temperature and too small a sac takes away the boys’ relaxing room.)

Next round: *YO, K2tog* around.

Next round: Purl.

Next round: Knit.

Next round: K2tog around. (If you want a fuller opening, just knit without decreasing).

Next round: Bind off. Finish in the cut end.

Now on to the shaft.

Put the sts from the holder on your needles and join yarn at the left side of where the gusset cast on is, and knit around. (32 sts). Now pick up the same number of sts along the gusset as were added for the sac-side of the gusset. (If you used a waste-yarn cast on, you will have 9 sts here). At this point, you can rearrange the sts so that the start of the round is in the center of the gusset, fudging the odd st.

Decrease the gusset as before, returning to the original number. (32 in this example).You can either leave an odd st or decrease it with S1, K2tog, PSSO.

Work even , knitting every round ’til you reach the desired length. The desired length is important! If you or the recipient is wearing the Willie Warmer to sleep in, please make the length the full “battle-ready” length. A normal, functioning man will have several erections during sleep and we want to accommodate him in this. Consideration is also given for when the L’il General decides to express himself during the day. The sensitive man, the horny man and ALL teenagers will  have erections from simply riding down a gravel road in the car, so please, make room! Knit, fit, knit again!

Now we’re ready to do a round of eyelets.

Eyelet round: *YO, K2tog* around.

Next round: Purl.

Next 2 rounds: Knit.

Next round: Bind off. Finish in the end.

Now get  three lengths of cord or knit them. On the sac, begin and end at the center top between the sac and the shaft, threading in-and-out through the eyelets. On the shaft, begin and end at the top, opposite the sac-shaft juncture. In the eyelets at the cast on, begin and end at the top, above the shaft.

I hope you made notes to use in making your own refinements in future Willie Warmers. Feel free to make a Willie Warmer as you see fit, and share your improvements.  Have fun with color and textured stitches. Knit in a pet name or “dirty” words on the shaft. Whatever. Enjoy and share the warmth!

Robert Jenkins

raydio99@yahoo.com

QueerJoe’s Adaptations

When I pictured Robert’s version of the Willie Warmer with gathers and pull-ties at the end of the shaft and at the bottom of the mansac, I thought it would be nicer looking aesthetically to close up the ends by doing regular decreases as follows.

Once I had as much knitted in length as I wanted (of either the shaft or the mansac), I divided my stitches evenly onto four double points, and continued as follows:

Round 1:  * K2tog, Knit to last st on first needle, SSK.  K2tog, Knit to last st on second needle, SSK.  K2tog, Knit to last st on third needle, SSK.  K2tog, Knit to last st on fourth needle, SSK.

Repeat these two rounds until there are 8 sts remaining.  K2tog four times, then thread yarn through the remaining four stitches.  Pull closed and weave in end.  A good dose of steam iron blocking and a darning egg for shape made them the perfect shape to fit me well.